Leap
by whimsey101
Summary: Late night phone call.
1. Chapter 1

Even if she hadn't recognized the ringtone, she knew Will was the only one who would call her at this late. Really, it was approaching early. Even though she was sure he was calling to share some arcane theory about the order of the universe, probably based on the lyrics of a musical number from Oklahoma! Mackenzie allowed her heart the leap it always took when presented with Will McAvoy and steadied her voice, to not sound hopeful, "Hello?"

He skipped normal telephone etiquette and launched into the conversation he'd been rehearsing in his head, "The message."

Her heart leapt again, unsure of how to reply, she hit the ball back into his court, "The message?" she inquired.

"Don't give me that, Mac, you know goddamned well what message I'm talking about. The one that was hacked, the one you have asked me about a million fucking times. I want to tell you about the message."

Mackenzie's thoughts raced, she wanted to know, maybe she did, only if it was good, well even if it was bad, but she didn't want it to hurt and if it was really good she didn't want to hear it over the phone. "Are you high?"

"A reasonable question," he understood her trepidation. He had to consider his state of consciousness was at the moment. "Not high, not drunk, but I have imbibed, more a state of relaxed agitation."

"Agitated how? Angry? Because I really don't have the energy to be raked over the coals anymore. I fucked up everything and now I just need to immerse myself in home shopping television until my brain shuts down." He must have been able to hear the fear behind her stalling the conversation.

She tracked how fast items ticked off the counter, each time amazed by the bursts of frenzied buying as the numbers dwindled. Will took a deep drag and remembered countless times he'd pried the remote out of her sleeping hand to turn that shit off. "The day had me agitated, not you. I'm an ass, but I'm not going to chase you down in the middle of the night to berate you. Do you want to know what the fucking message said or not?"

"I did. I guess I do, I'm just a little afraid of it now. You've waited so long that it has grown into this beast and I'm not sure I can face it. Yes. No, wait, can I get a drink first?"

He conceded, "Another reasonable question, but what the hell else are we going to talk about with this looming over the conversation?"

Oh, she was quick on that one. "Anything, really. The weather is always an option. Sports? How about those Yankees?" She took a chance and with a trill asked, "are you in bed?" He smiled. It had been a game they played before, not really phone sex as much as the tease of it. He growled, "I'm not asking what you are wearing. I'm saying we can't have any normal conversation now, until the other one is over."

Well, that gave her pause. There was a possibility of conversation after he revealed what was in the message, which meant it couldn't be all bad. She was searching her liquor cabinet, nothing sounded right. "What should I have?" Before he could mouth the word, she said "I'm out of seems too festive, damn, I need a contemplative alcohol."

Will listened to the bottles clinking. "Mac, don't you have some wine, I promise this won't be anymore painful than making me wait. You've waited weeks for me to tell you, now you're holding out on me?! Incredible."

"Stop it, Billy. I'm nervous. I know you fortified with Scotch to prepare, but I am completely off guard here, you told me you don't remember. I mean, I knew you were lying, but it is three a.m. This isn't fair!" She did have an open bottle of Cab in the kitchen. she poured it into a lowball glass and brought it out to the patio. "Alright, I've got it, I'm sitting. You must start at the beginning."

"No interrupting, until I'm done?" he asked or insisted.

"How will I know you are done?" God, she was so... Mac.

"You'll know," He took a long drag and steeled himself for his speech. It was embellished from what he had said in the original message, but more complete and, eidetic memory be damned he wasn't going to get this wrong. "Okay?" He wasn't sure if he was asking Mackenzie or himself, but took her "Mmmhmm" as a reason to go continue. "Hey, Listen, it's me, I'm not just saying this because I'm high right now. If the answer is 'no' just do me a favor and don't call me back or bring it up or anything. But I have to tell you, I mean after tonight, I really want to tell you that I've never stopped loving you. I was hurt and pissed as hell, and damned if I didn't fucking try to get you out of my heart, but I couldn't, never can. Tonight you trusted me when I gave you no reason to, I've been such a complete dick to you and I guess I really just wanted to say thank you and I'm sorry and I love you. I'm not going to sleep tonight, so call me back when you get this, or, you know, not. Okay, well, bye."

There was a long silence, Mackenzie couldn't stop forming questions, they began spilling out of her, "Never stopped? I'm in your heart? Like, right now, you love me? Is that what you are telling me over the fucking phone in the middle of the night? What am I supposed to do now? Come running? You thought I heard that and ignored it? Do you want to get back together, I mean, is that even possible? God dammit, Billy, why are we on the phone for this conversation?" Finally, she stopped, he imagined for air but he took the opportunity to reply.

"Never stopped, but I guess, according to Habib, I sorta got off on the pain of being hurt by someone I loved? It sounds like total bullshit, the whole abuse thing, but it's better than thinking I'm a total unmitigated prick. Yes, you are in my heart, I swear I can fucking feel the ache right behind my breastbone, everyday, right now. I am, apparently, not only an ass, but also a coward and the reason we are having this conversation on the phone is because I text so fucking slow and had to fortify myself with Glenlevit before I could do this. I can think of a number of things I'd like for you to do right now, most of which start with running, but I think I should salvage some scrap of masculinity and be the one to pursue you. You should be chased, loved and goddamn kept.

"Which brings me to another thing I've been thinking about, it was not all your fault. I didn't force you into Brenner's bed, but I sure as fuck didn't do everything I could to keep you in mine. Habib helped me with this too." He heard her sigh and start to correct him, but he continued. "I keep my feelings very close to the vest Mac, I pushed you away by not letting you in. I just can't fucking live like this. I don't want what we had before. Alone with you was a hell of a lot better than alone without you, but I think what I really want is to be not alone, with you. Jesus, can you understand me? I'm not sure I can."

Mackenzie couldn't form words and didn't want him to hear the tears in her voice.

"Mac?" this was the most frightened Will McAvoy had been since he was 10 years old.

Finally, she managed one more question, "Are you going to come over now?"


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Thank you for the reviews, who knew that would be so rewarding? They inspired this short but sweet chapter. I'm more afraid than I imagine Mac would be to see what happens next. Cheers.

No doubt about it, Will was freaked out. As he sat in the the cab, pointedly ignoring the cabbie staring in the rearview mirror, the ride to Mackenzie's brownstone felt familiar, new and totally fucking weird. It was absurd, really, he works side by side with her everyday, yet the thought of her opening her door completely unhinged him. He wanted the ride over, but needed time to figure out what the hell he was going to say. Fucking idiot, he had the message speech all worked out and hadn't given the slightest thought to the fact that there would be an after.

He smiled at his delivery, he said the 'in my heart' part and she definitely heard it. He was relieved to have told her he accepted some responsibility for their breakup, but really didn't want to talk or think about that anymore. There, that's what he was worried about. Well, and the possibility of sex. Was he rushing across town for sex? He didn't know for sure, though he had just confessed undying love, you never knew when a conversation, or a relationship for that matter, with Mackenzie could totally fucking derail. Still, he wish he'd taken the time to shower. And he wished the cabbie would keep his eyes on the damn road. "Relax, man, I'm not that famous, I just do the news." Satisfied that his fare wasn't a movie star, or embarrassed at being called out on it, the cabbie quit staring.

Across town, Mackenzie was much worse. Will was on his fucking way to her house. This was, she was pretty sure, the most amazing thing, unless, of course she completely fucks up again. A very real possibility, she knew, which is why her hands were shaking. She had asked him to come over, sort of and he had replied "I'd better." With that, she had gulped down the rest of her cabernet and generously refilled the glass. She stood looking across her darkened living room, thinking she ought to get ready. Ready for what? That was a loaded question. She ached to be close to him, as physically close as she could, but refused to let her mind go there. Lights, surely she thought with a flip, she should turn on the lights, welcoming him into her dark house in the middle of the night was presumptive. Just because she was so totally ready to fall back into bed with him before they had actually started dating didn't mean she had to do it. As a matter of fact, she resolved, she should not sleep with him tonight. Never mind that they already had carnal knowledge of each other, in, oh lord, every conceivable manner, she didn't want to seem easy now. Tonight would be chaste, as pure as the driven snow, rated G. At that thought, Mac rolled her eyes at herself and apologized for gulping a perfectly good wine and eyed her stereo.

The route from his home to Mac's had been a well-worn path, Will knew he would be there in mere minutes, he had to come up with something to say. Or maybe not, maybe he should just kiss her? His chest squeezed at the idea. He replayed the phone conversation in his head, searching for confirmation that she would want to be kissed, or, Will cleared his throat, more. No, she hadn't made any declarations, only questioned him. He supposed that was fair, he had certainly ambushed her with his declaration. Will had always admired the lightning speed at which Mac's mind works, especially when she didn't stop to think. Then a wave of panic washed over him as he realized this fucking cab ride was giving her time to think, to think about what a total shit he has been. She's going to be ready for a fight. Disarm, he decided, we've fucked around too long to keep sparring, I need to shut her up immediately. So, a kiss it would be.

There is no music suitable for playing when the man you love, whose heart you have ripped out and whom you are hoping will give it back to you, comes calling in the middle of the night. Mac cursed herself for wasting precious minutes staring at her cd collection when she could have been, what? Preparing? Her entire body was tingling, there was some circulation issue at play, but her mind was racing in meaningless circles. Forget preparing, if she could just calm the fuck down, she'd be content. She took a deep breath and one thought resounded clear as a bell, "He's coming back." All resolve wasted away with that realization and she knew that she would surrender herself completely. She could refuse no advance, but would wait if he wanted. Whatever will be, will be.

Will had rolled the fifty into a tube and pushed it through the safety glass as soon as the taxi stopped. He eyed Mac's building and only knew the cabbie grabbed it when it slipped out of his fingers. Without waiting for change or nodding in recognition, Will got out of the cab and stood in the street in front of her building. "Oh, for fuck's sake, McAvoy, quit being melodramatic," he admonished himself and bounded up the stairs. Before he could ring the bell, the outer door buzzed open. Reflexively, he pulled it and stood in the covered entry. Will could see Mac through the glass, she was standing right in front of the door, arms stiff at her sides and her eyes tightly closed. "Mac? I can still see you, you know. Can you let me in," she nodded, but didn't move, "please?"

Without opening her eyes, Mac reached for the handle, opened the door but remained motionless. Will sighed, "Mackenzie, open your eyes and look at me." She didn't, but asked "You really are here, right."

"Yes and I'm not leaving." Another deep breath and Mac's shoulders relaxed as she opened her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N Sorry, I apparently have a compulsion to leave these two hanging off a cliff. It's my way of punishing them for all the unresolved sexual tension from season one. Well, I'm gonna be offline for a couple of days, so this time I left them in a much better place. Not sure how or if I need to continue this story, I'll mull it over. What do you think?

They stood face to face in a rare state of silence, communicating with their eyes the pain, love, fear, hope and a host of other emotions to complicated to name. When the weight of it all seemed just about to break Mackenzie, Will opened his arms and stepped forward. The sheer relief of being back in his embrace brought tears to her eyes, she spoke into his chest, "You are here."

Will nodded his affirmation, "I'm sorry it took me so long." He kissed the side of her head, deeply breathing in her smell caused a hitch in his breath. He leaned back, cupping her cheeks in his hands, Will couldn't stop the corners of his lips upturning as he shook his head slightly, in awe of the moment. He gently brought his mouth to hers. Will had no idea how on earth he had done anything to delay getting to this point, this was exactly where he had needed to be all along.

All resolutions of chastity flew out the still open door as she returned the favor. Initially, cautiously, she gripped his sweater, but soon her fingers snaked up around his neck and into his hair, to the place behind his ears that makes him crazy. The need to be closer to him grew within Mac, she still couldn't quite believe that she was actually kissing Will. Billy! How could she have possibly turned away from this before? She shuddered and banished the hint of that line of thinking. Stay in the moment, she reminded herself, this beautiful moment. Mac had to see him, she fluttered her eyes open, despite the seemingly poor kissing etiquette, to steal a glance. Gah, caught! He was looking at her, why is he doing that? Was he regretting this, what did that look mean?

They stopped, but didn't move apart. His lips hovered above hers, she felt his words as much as heard them, "Hey, how are you doing?"

She was ready for the rug to be pulled out from underneath her feet. She feared those demons from their past repossessing Will. Feared that at her kiss or touch he would suddenly remember and be repulsed by what she had done. She was having trouble keeping those thoughts at bay. He has said he can't forget, how can he do this now? Mac gulped, "Oh, um. I'm well, very well. And you? Is this, uh, okay?"

Will read her face, he could see the searching in her eyes, the worry in her brow, a tremble in her lip. She looked positively frightened, which tugged at his chest and created within him an overwhelming need to protect and save her. Except she was afraid of him. "Are you serious? No, I'm not just okay. Mac," he sighed, "at long last, I have the woman I love, you, in my arms. I feel great. I feel so fucking great that this is arguably the happiest I have ever been in my life." Will wanted two things desperately, to get back to kissing her and to not talk about the obstacles they had just hurdled. "There are conversations to be had, reassurances to be made, but first my dear, if I may be so bold, I would really prefer to keep kissing you."

The plan to render Mac speechless had worked brilliantly. Her eyes filled with tears, then as they widened at his suggestion, "I'd like that." As he leaned back in to take her still parted lips, he whispered, "Oh, Mac." With her teeth, she tugged at his lower lip and tentatively licked it. It felt so silky and tasted just like him that a moan escaped her. In response, he growled and lifted her up off the ground to his level. She instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist as he shifted his hands down under her ass to support her. Will had always been particularly partial to her behind. As he started shuffle stepping to the couch, Mac was impressed that she has the wherewithal to reach out and close the door. The comedy of their predicament brought smiles to both of their faces, though neither broke the kiss. As she worried about his knee as lowered them to the couch, he gave it no thought at all. Slipping one hand to cradle the back of her head, he turned and gently lay her down, never allowing an inch to open up between them.

How could she have forgotten what a completely fantastic kisser he was? She had moments of atrial flutter, usually during a broadcast, when she was allowed to stare unabashedly at her anchor, admire his mouth perfectly articulating, catch sight of his tongue. She knew she was fairly obsessed with him, but this by far exceeded any memory or fantasy. Her heart, wildly jumping in her chest could not keep up with thrill of being wrapped around and under Will again, his tongue teasing hers. The full force of how much she had missed him, and missed this, hit her like a ton of bricks.

Will had imagined, and on a few occasions dreamt about being in this predicament, but he too was amazed at how much better the real thing was. He thought that images of Mac with Brenner would cloud his mind, but found it easy to push those thoughts away, especially when he was so happily preoccupied. God, this was good, like coming home, but better than any home he'd ever known.


End file.
